Last Call at the 7-Eleven

Fine Dining at 2 A.M., the Search for Spandex People, and Other Reasons to Go on Living

The country might be going to hell in a hand-basket, but don’t close the garage doors and sit there with the engine running until you read this collection of sardonic, off-the-wall pieces on modern life by one of America’s best humorists.

Described as “another Dave Barry, only with a lot less going for him,” Baltimore Sun columnist Kevin Cowherd sizzles as he tackles such loopy subjects as:

  • Larry King’s interview with God (“El Paso, Texas, you’re on the air with the Almighty…”
  • Fine dining at a 7-Eleven at 2 a.m. (“Moving briskly past the Test-Your-Blood-Pressure machine and the Hormel chili section, we arrive at the rack of Slim Jims.”)
  • $20 million lottery winners who insist on keeping their jobs (“Oh yeah, I’ll be back at Mr. Tire first thing in the morning.”)
  • The joys of backyard wiffleball (“Wiffleball is for anyone willing to shrug off a full speed collision with a tool shed and six months of subsequent blackouts just to snare a grounder up the middle.”)
  • Thanksgiving dinner with Howard Stern (“Yo, sweetie, pass the cranberry sauce. What are you, stupid? Only a friggin’ moron would pass the mashed potatoes when I asked for the cranberry sauce.”)
  • Modest people looking for love in the personals (“5-foot-9 guy with spare tire, bags under his eyes, not much of a chin, looks like your grocer, seeks woman.”)